A Peaceful Heart

There are not many things in this world that I know for sure, but I do know that I am completely at peace when I am surrounded by people whose hearts are focused on God. This past weekend I had the opportunity to spend three days with such people as we were solely focused on serving others to allow them to encounter Christ. What a weekend it was!

I cannot even begin to put into words what this past weekend at TEC #120 (Wichita) meant to me. Coming back to Rock Springs I had every emotion running through my mind....joy, fear, sadness, love, but most all peace.

You know that feeling that comes when no matter what happens your heart stays calm? When you know that everything is going to be just fine? That my friends is peace; the times in our lives when we are so focused on God that we cannot see nor focus on the insignificant troubles of what I like to call "fake world."

I have never really been good at finding peace in my life. If you know me you know that I love to always be achieving/working on something. This last semester that something has been my spiritual life, but for so long it just didn't feel right. I mean I was doing everything right....adoration, liturgy of the hours, R.C.I.A., night mass, rosaries....I was going through the motions. I wanted so badly to get it right, but my heart continued to feel not at rest. What was I doing wrong?

The answer came so quickly to me this weekend. My prayer life had become so apart of my routine that I had begun to forget the true meaning of praying. I forgot that to sit in silence in front of the Blessed Sacrament is more powerful than anything else.

I am so utterly blessed to have met 47 other people who have left a positive impact on my life. There are especially 14 people whom I had the opportunity to gow close to you during the weekend who now mean more to me than they will ever know. They taught me patience, humility, and servant leadership, but most all they taught me that no matter your age the true purpose of life is to glorify God. I can never ever thank them enough for the reminder of that lesson.

My encounter with Christ this weekend certainly left me wondering what my mission in life is, but at the same time knowing that no matter where my life leads me if I am following His plan then I will be fulfilled. That's the hardest part though isn't....turning your life completely over to God and surrendering all control? For me it is. I want to so badly, but the fear of not knowing what is to come so often engulfs me.

Fortunately, I have found some of the best friends a person could ask for. Their lives on consumed with following God's call and therefore keep me focused in the right direction. Yes, many of these friends have come from the TEC community, but many of them have also crossed my path in other ways. The meetings were often accidental and hardly ever planned, but the reason in undeniable....everything happens for a reason.

I have been blessed to travel around the country and I have met many people through those experiences. So often I wonder how I can continue to meet more people and still form the deep relationships that I want to with these people. Just when I think that I have reached my "friend capacity" though another person walks in to my life that will forever change it. This weekend was no different....my twin, my co-spiritual director, my past table partner, our W.C. director, the "American Pope"....just a few people who continue to teach me what life is all about.

I shared a lot of thoughts at once and honestly I wouldn't have blamed you if you stopped reading paragraphs ago, but if you are still with me let me share a couple thoughts with you that stopped me in tracks this weekend....

-How do you measure your self-worth....by what you do or who you are?

-Who should it matter that you be significant to...God or other people?